Ditch “superwoman syndrome” and adopt sacred self-care
Why do you strive to save the world – yet fail to rescue yourself?
As women – especially Muslim women, so often we fall into the pattern of taking care of the needs of the world– yet rarely dedicate adequate time to our own self-care, spiritual development, relaxation, relationships, emotional balance and pampering.
This trend- “Superwoman Syndrome” as I like to call it, is the silent monster that over time can lead to chronic stress, reduced Iman (faith), resentment, hair loss, fatigue, lack of fulfillment, low libido and even major chronic disease.
Too often, we feel as if the level of achievement, love and appreciation that we seek is dependent upon us sacrificing every last bit of ourselves in its pursuit.
–> In pursuit of a career or personal goal, we completely exhaust ourselves, burn out our adrenal glands and gain weight due to eating on the go, getting very little sleep, and the deluge of excess cortisol (stress hormone) that floods our system.
–> In constantly putting the needs of family, friends, coworkers – and even strangers before our own needs and well-being, we invalidate our worth, fail to set or keep boundaries – and end up resenting the people around us.
And unfortunately, if you eventually become frustrated and lash out (which often happens), people will likely be confused, because they have been used to you in a certain “mold” and even when frustrated, you still may not articulate or assert our needs – even though you are clearly falling apart.
–> In the desperate pursuit of love and acknowledgement, we often transgress the bounds of what is acceptable behavior, we may compromise our beliefs and standards for fear of being alone, and we can give away our power by allowing another human being to dictate our level of self-worth.
–> In a state of feeling emotionally or physically depleted, we often fail to speak up and ask for what we need to recuperate: more time, physical assistance, emotional support, help with the kids – or just an ear to listen or an offer to help us work through out what’s going on in our lives.
–> In failing to give ourselves the time and space to connect with our Lord (outside of salah), we become easily misdirected and more likely to sin, impatient, easily frustrated and prone to anger – and generally receive less of Allah’s blessing, guidance and protection.
–> In neglecting out own self-care, we become bitter and resentful, tired and anxiety prone, negative and not good company, depleted and susceptible to illness.
Finally Laying Down the Cape
As you can see after reading this far, “Superwoman Syndrome” – also known as the “Martyr Complex”, fails to serve you – or anyone else in your sphere. As such, it’s time to recognize where you may be falling into this trap and commit to laying down your cape, in order to preserve your health – and your spiritual connection, relationships, and sanity.
To help gain (and maintain) more balance in your life, schedule in regular acts of self-care, cordon off time for reflection and be more willing to ask for – and accept help from others.
Also, when it comes to indulging yourself and relaxing, it can be something as simple as buying fresh flowers from the farmer’s market weekly, to booking a massage and mani/pedi once a month. And don’t underestimate the importance of time with friends. Good companionship can often be the best medicine.
How Do You Rank?
Do you find yourself suffering from Superwoman Syndrome and want to desperately lay down your cape? I have just the thing.
“The Self{ish} Project: Sacred Self-Care for Muslim Women, is an 8 week interactive online course designed specifically for “Superwomen” like you. In this intimate and private environment, we dig deep into the reasons you’re experiencing stress, overwhelm, loneliness, a lack of support, poor sleep – and so much more. We focus on YOU and finally learning to put yourself first.
Sound like a dream come true? Register today and join the ranks of the nearly 400 women who have taken this life-changing course since 2014, Alhamdulillah.
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